


we'll take the highway to heaven

by princealliance (popoyoy11)



Series: oh baby, we're made of star particles [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: First Dates, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, i dont do angst i only do, this has so many internal monologues, too many internal monologues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 22:11:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19473232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popoyoy11/pseuds/princealliance
Summary: It takes approximately 7 days for Lee Taeyong to gay-panic his way into falling in love with Jung Jaehyun.orA simple question from Donghyuck makes Taeyong redefine his relationship with Jaehyun. And causes some gay-panic along the way.





	we'll take the highway to heaven

**Author's Note:**

> fIRst OF aLL
> 
> 1\. i have not written anything kpop related in 5 years  
> 2\. i have only been in this fandom for a week  
> 3\. this has way too many internal monologue
> 
> so i wondered why jaeyong was a ship when their interaction is borderline nonexistent. what confused me a lot about them is that they seem to work really, hella, fuckin' well together BUT they NEVER do vlogs where there's only the two of them (or maybe i haven't seen it yet! sue me). then i saw somebody commented on puff idol that in 2016-2017 they interacted a lot, and their interactions in 2018 kind of declines. which for me means several things: a) they broke up, had a fight, etc etc, b) they're dating for real and sm thinks its for the best that they dont interact, c) they're actually just friends and yk friend dynamics change all the time especially in bigger groups, so nothing's wrong with them
> 
> but i wanted to play with this ship, and i wanted to explore these two and dynamics a bit more. because if it's true that scenario c happened, i still wonder why they never get alone vlogs. hence the fic. this is an angst-free zone so there's only fluff and sweet nothings.
> 
> disclaimer: this is not real, these two people are people and you should not shove that you ship them in their faces, i am not a first-language english speaker, characterizations may be off because i dont know them in real life
> 
> enjoy!
> 
> credit: this fic is largely inspired by this fic titled [Hello Jaehyun](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11241249/chapters/25123926) by the talented [felisselita](https://archiveofourown.org/users/felisselita/pseuds/felisselita) so you might see some minor details that mirror her fic such as the manager's name.

It wasn't meant to be inconsiderate. Like all things that tumble out of Donghyuck's mouth, it's the first thing that pops into his head and doesn't pass through a filter (definitely for lack of trying). It was a simple question, really (really?), in hindsight Taeyong _should_ have been able to answer it easily.

 _Should have_. But then his name wouldn't be Lee Taeyong if he does what he _should_ all the time.

"Hyung," Donghyuck had begun, "why don't you and Jaehyun-hyung ever do a _vee_ -log segment together?"

Taeyong's hand pauses halfway into his mouth, the chocolate-covered biscuit he's holding has melted a little bit in the warm room and it's uncomfortable and sticky on his fingers. Somewhere from the direction of the sink, the sound of water splashing stops.

"Uh," Jaehyun--who was supposed to be doing the dishes--supplies helfpully. His hands have stopped moving too, apparently Donghyuck's question is baffling enough for _the_ Jaehyun.

Mark, ever the more sensitive of the two, groans and covers his face with his hands.

"What?" Donghyuck glances between his hyungs and Mark.

Taeyong frowns. The biscuit meets its demise as he chews through it thoughtfully, licking at his fingers. "I guess, um," he tries, "I don't know."

"Ah, maybe they haven't found any activities that me and hyung can do together," Jaehyun offers, drying his hands with a dish-towel, his back still facing the trio.

"What do you mean? You need special activities to do together?" Donghyuck drills on.

"I think he means that there aren't any activities that management thinks we could both enjoy? Seeing how different our tastes are?" Taeyong's answer ends with a questioning lilt instead.

"Ha?" Hyuck presses, unbelieving, "hyung they made us go into a bridge park, they made Mark and Johnny-hyung make leather passport wallets for each other, I don't think it's a matter of enjoying the activity or _tastes_."

Mark, who's been a nervous spectator throughout the exchange so far, claps a firm hand on the maknae's shoulder. "Right! I think me and Donghyuck are tired now, thank you for the snacks. Goodnight Taeyong-hyung, Jaehyun-hyung," and with that, Mark stands up, chair screeching behind him, and stomps away to the direction of the bedrooms, dragging a spluttering Donghyuck with him.

"Wait--wha--Mark Lee!"

Taeyong and Jaehyun are left alone in the kitchen, snacks littering the table, remnants of what should have been a peaceful after-dinner snack-time. Well, it's still peaceful, as everything with Jaehyun is, if somewhat confusing. Jaehyun leans against the sink, towel slung over his shoulder. Taeyong turns towards him, offering the biscuit.

"So, what kind of "activities" _do_ you do?" Taeyong starts.

Jaehyun's smile spreads slow, from the corners of his mouth, to his eyes, and he dimples. "I don't know, hyung. A lot," he walks over to the table and takes a seat next to Taeyong, plucking a biscuit out of its wrapper.

"Hm," Taeyong hums. "Donghyuck does have a point, though. Why don't we vlog things together?"

"I have no idea, maybe you could check with manager-hyung about that?" Jaehyun asks. "Also, hyung, I don't think our tastes are that different, just that we don't really ever find time to hang out lately. Since debut."

"You're... right." Taeyong feels a little pang of guilt at that. He remembers a younger Jaehyun, clinging to him wherever he went. He'd been smaller, then, not as tall, and Taeyong had been less patient. More antsy. To debut, to do well.

Taeyong drums his fingers on the table, eyes trained on Jaehyun nibbling on his piece of biscuit. Is this a matter that needed fixing? Jaehyun was... Jaehyun. Taeyong doesn't think their relationship was bad or needed special attention, but it couldn't hurt to spend time together as a leader with his team member. And Jaehyun was right, it's been a while since they've hung out, just the two of them.

They're lying low for a while anyway, they have time.

"Do you want to go somewhere, then?" Taeyong asks.

"Sure. Where do you want to go, hyung?"

"Ah," Taeyong snaps his fingers, "you like museums, right? Modern and Contemporary Art Museum, have you ever been?"

Jaehyun shakes his head. "I don't think so."

"You want to go?" Taeyong invites. "It'll be fun, I heard they're having an exhibition on Tintin."

"Just the two of us?" Jaehyun looks up at Taeyong from under his lashes, making himself look younger than he actually is.

Taeyong nods, grinning. "Yeah, just the two of us, it'll be great, maybe finally we can find something we both enjoy and pitch an idea for a vlog to the producers."

"Sure, hyung," Jaehyun agrees. He leans back, his shoulders relaxed, face open, ever so trusting. He seems genuinely excited. Taeyong couldn't help giggling a little.

"Okay, you don't have anything next Tuesday, right? Wanna go then?"

"Okay."

"Alright, it's a date!"

Jaehyun's smile widens, eyes crinkling, then, and lo and behold those famous dimples make themselves known again. He raises the cup of hot cocoa that he'd made for himself earlier to his lips. "Okay, great, I'm looking forward to it," he murmurs softly before taking a sip.

Taeyong feels something clenching inside him and brushes it off as indigestion, shouldn't have had those biscuits with milk, after all.

-

"So I heard you're finally banging my lil bro," Johnny quips on Thursday, barging into their shared room, throwing himself into Taeyong's neatly made bed.

"Hey! Don't do that you'll mess it up!" Taeyong scolds from the chair where he was currently facing a mirror, putting on base make-up.

"Banging my bro, yes or no."

Taeyong scrunches up his face. "No. I didn't even know you had a brother, I thought you had a sister. Stop being so vulgar, sheesh."

Johnny rolls his eyes and kicks Taeyong's chair. The latter squawks indignantly.

"I'm an only child. And I obviously I meant Jaehyun, you dumbass. Banging him, yes or no?"

"No! God." Taeyong exclaims, horrified this time. " _Why_ would you even ask that, we've been friends forever. Ya, Johnny Seo, stop saying weird things or I'll cut your tongue off." He warns.

"Then what's this I hear about a date?"

Taeyong doesn't freeze, but his movements do slow. "Uh."

Johnny kicks his chair again.

"Okay! Okay! First of all, it's _not_ a date. We're just hanging out, okay," Taeyong clarifies. "We're going to an art museum. Maybe food afterwards, who knows."

Johnny looks at him blankly.

Taeyong sighs. "What."

"So you're taking the little shit out to a thing that he genuinely likes and you don't, and you're going to wine and dine him afterwards, and it's not going to be filmed, _and_ you told him it's a date, but it's _not_ a date."

Taeyong turns his whole body towards Johnny, holds up a finger, and smiles. "Okay, first of all, it's only a date if either of us pays solo--which I'm not gonna let happen--second of all, we literally, all of us, here at NCT, has gone somewhere with someone alone to do things like what I'm about to do with Jaehyun."

"Well, what if _he_ thinks it's a date?"

"I'll tell him it's not," Taeyong answers. "Besides," he continues breezily, not satisfied with the word-vomit he'd just committed. "Isn't it a date only if there are--romantic feelings involved?"

Johnny slow-blinks at him.

"You're serious, aren't you?" Johnny asks.

"Yes."

Johnny sighs. "Alright," he says, jumping off the bed, "that's my cue to leave. Bye-bye."

"Hey! At least remake the bed you ungrateful worm!" Taeyong shouts after Johnny's retreating back.

-

The thing is, it's not like they're not friends. _They are_. Jaehyun is one of his oldest friends in SM and that fact alone makes him a second-tier in Taeyong's friendship scale-pyramid-thing (the first is reserved solely for Kim Dongyoung's stupid face).

But if Taeyong has to define his relationship with Jaehyun it's--

It's--

Well.

That's the problem now, isn't it.

-

The next morning brings with it a promise of a new song and a warm day. It's Friday, and Taeyong cooks breakfast on Fridays. He stretches up to his tiptoes, jumps a bit so he hits the doorjamb of his bedroom and yawns his way to the kitchen.

He's chopping scallions when he hears a pair of socked feet shuffling across the floorboards.

"Good morning, hyung," Jaehyun greets, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Oh, Jaehyunnie," he replies, "good morning."

"Are you making egg rolls?" Jaehyun asks, washing his hands before rummaging through the cabinet for cutlery.

"Yeah, thought it would be nice with some soup, what do you think? I think we ought to make some kind of tofu dish, too."

Jaehyun nods, "I think that'll be nice. Have you started on the soup yet?"

"No, not yet."

"Alright, I'll start."

Taeyong beams. "Ahh, thank you, Jaehyunnie, you're my life-saver."

Jaehyun laughs and dimples. "I'm glad."

They cook in amicable silence, with Jaehyun's questions about the soup sometimes poking the comfort bubble they've surrounded themselves in.

Halfway through stir-frying tofu, Taeyong realizes that Jaehyun almost always comes and help with breakfast.

Jaehyun is--Jaehyun is the sensible one, so he gets up not too early (like Yuta) but never too late (like Donghyuck), only always just enough to help with breakfast but not start it (maknae line privilege, and holy shit he _is_ in the maknae line, isn't he). He's the sensible one so he doesn't go and get shitfaced with his hyungs even if he's legal now. He's the sensible one so he goes with Taeyong to grocery shop when the food supply runs low before it's supposed to (bunch of growing boys, what are you gonna do?). He's sensible so he helps with chores around the dorm voluntarily, helping keep the space neat.

And Taeyong only notices it now, doesn't he? Him and his stupid bleached hair has been taking Jaehyun's sensibility for granted.

"Jaehyun-ah," Taeyong starts.

"Hm?"

"Did you used to help your mother with chores?"

"Um, yeah. I was an only child. So I felt bad if I didn't help her."

"Is she the one who taught you how to cook?"

"Yeah, she did. Why do you ask?"

Taeyong smiles, amused. He sprinkles sesame seeds onto the tofu. "Nothing, she's an amazing teacher. Your cooking is amazing."

Jaehyun scratches his head. "She was an amazing teacher." He agrees.

"You know, if I didn't know you before this, I'd have thought that you had younger siblings, with how good you are with chores and cooking."

Jaehyun laughs, a short and musical thing. "No, hyung, but thank you, I'll take that as a compliment."

"Ah! What do you mean?" Taeyong pretends to be shocked; he clutches his chest for _extra_ dramatic effect. "Of course that was a compliment!" 

"Here, I'll give you a real compliment." Taeyong grins, starts again. "You're really diligent, you know that? And sensible. I really admire you for that." He doesn't know what possessed him to continue but he did. "You're always helping me out in the kitchen and around the dorm, so thank you for your effort. I appreciate it. You help make this place feel like a home."

There's a tangible pause where Jaehyun just gapes at Taeyong. The latter raises his eyebrows, waiting. It's almost comical if it's not totally and utterly adorable the way Jaehyun's ears slowly turn red. He quickly averts his gaze to the simmering soup. "Thank you," he replies in a small voice, smiling shyly, pulling the collar of his shirt up to hide half of his face.

Taeyong can't help but stare, enraptured by the sight, the tofu sizzling in the pan half forgotten.

_Adorable? Oh no, he's cute._

Taeyong's eyes widen at the thought.

 _Oh fuck_.

-

It's not like he doesn't recognize how attractive Jaehyun is. Objectively speaking, Taeyong thinks he's the most attractive one out of 127 (just because he won't ever admit that Johnny or Dongyoung is hot). But that's the sort of stuff you joke around with your friends, isn't it? And it's 2018, you can say another guy is hot without _actually_ having the hots for them.

But it's different saying _oh yeah Jaehyun has a nice body, you know? Great abs, wish I had his body_ and thinking that a sleepy Jaehyun is the best thing in the world, eyes droopy and leaning on every surface available, making Taeyong want to pull him in and give him his shoulder to sleep on for the next 30 years. Or noticing every single time Jaehyun licks his lips, or push his hair back and does that eye-squint thing and puckers his lips and--

Oh God. Taeyong is _so_ fucked. And it's only Saturday.

-

It gets easier to notice the things that Jaehyun does from then on. They're just tiny things that Taeyong never really paid close attention to. Like how much co-coddling they do together--separately.

The members follow Taeyong around not unlike baby chicks. He hates to think of himself as a mother hen, but that's essentially what he is (maybe he could get away with the title tribe leader instead).

All of them, except for Jaehyun.

Taeyong doesn't know when his teammates started saying "he's asked Jaehyun(-hyung) and he said okay," as an excuse to get Taeyong to agree to something. Doesn't realize that he discusses a lot of the team's problems with Jaehyun. Doesn't realize that he never had a heart-to-heart with Jaehyun because he never sees Jaehyun need one.

He co-parents them, too.

-

_"Finally home!" Johnny shouts._

_"Johnny Seo, don't throw your jacket on the couch. Please shower first, guys, so everybody can be clean as soon as possible. Dongyoung, Donghyuck, Yuta, it's you guys' turn to prepare dinner, right? Please check whether the managers delivered us food or not." Taeyong lists out. "Jaehyun, could you--"_

_"On it, hyung." He answered, and tailed Dongyoung into the kitchen._

-

_"Hyung, here you go," Jaehyun said, handing Taeyong a bottle of cold water after practice._

_Taeyong accepted it gratefully, smiling up at the younger. "Thank you, Jaehyunnie."_

_Jaehyun smiled, dimpling. "Anytime, hyung." He proceeded to hand out his armful of bottled waters to the others, then, congratulating them on a practice well-done while Taeyong went over the choreography with the teacher._

-

_"Hyung?" Jaehyun poked his head inside Taeyong's room._

_"Yes?"_

_"I think Jungwoo is sick, can you come and check him please?"_

_Taeyong frowned, already pushing his chair back. "I'll call Seunghwan-hyung real quick, let me take a look at him."_

-

_Taeyong leaned against the wall next to the door to the room Sicheng shares with Taeil-hyung. Listening to the sobs coming from inside the room. It's followed by Jaehyun's low baritone sushing. Taeyong sighed, pulled out his phone._

Let me know if I can help with anything _._

_He wrote, and sent it to Jaehyun._

-

_Taeyong was discussing something with Jaehyun, sitting side by side on the floor of his room. He wasn't sure what they were talking about but he hadn't laughed this hard in a while when suddenly there's a knock on his door._

_"Come in!"_

_Mark's face peered in from the doorway. "Taeyong-hyung, sorry for bothering you. But I need to steal Jaehyun-hyung for a while," he said sheepishly._

_"What's wrong, Mark?"_

_"Could you help me with my homework, please? It's Korean."_

_Jaehyun pushed himself up. "I see, I see. Sure! I'll see you later, hyung." Jaehyun dimpled at him, and Taeyong felt strangely empty after Jaehyun left._

-

Jaehyun helps and helps and helps and he's so selfless and mature about it that Taeyong doesn't notice it until he does.

-

The festival that they are to perform in is an hour away from their dorm, apparently the event is an outdoor one and they're lucky enough that it's 16 degrees Celsius out and not 10. They leave early in the morning for the run-through. Everybody's still sleepy, stumbling over their own feet as manager-hyung ushers them into the van.

Taeyong sits on the back because nobody else wanted to, and Jaehyun claims the spot next to him, pressed from shoulder to hip together. Johnny is on Jaehyun's other side, leaning back and scrolling through his phone. Even if it's only moderately cold, Taeyong hates it, he could already feel his hands freezing up. He clenches and unclenches them, blowing onto them to warm them up.

"Oh? Are you cold, hyung?" Jaehyun leans in, asks almost directly in his ear, his voice low.

Taeyong shivers--not from the cold--and glances at him. "Kind of, yeah." Which is not a lie, Jaehyun runs warm and next to him he's like a personal furnace, but even that's not enough to keep Taeyong warm.

Jaehyun has a fluffy grey scarf wrapped around his neck. If Taeyong remembers correctly, he hates the cold as much as Taeyong does, if not more. Jaehyun unwraps it then, and envelopes Taeyong's hands in it, his own wrapping around the bundle to secure it onto Taeyong's hands. "Here."

Taeyong suddenly feels lightheaded.

"Oh," he manages to squeak out. "Thank you, you don't have to." He says, even if he's already loving the warmth it gives him. "What about you?"

Jaehyun dimples at him. "It's okay, I'm not cold right now."

Taeyong nods, and brings his bundled hand towards his face, pressing the fabric onto his face. It's soft, must be something expensive, like cashmere. Closing his eyes, Taeyong breathes in Jaehyun's scent--something that resembles sea breeze--and breathes out into the fabric to create a small pocket of warm air, warming the tips of his nose. He feels a sort of calm settles over him.

Next to him, Jaehyun clears his throat. "Warm?" Jaehyun asks, all the while still keeping that same dimpled smile.

Taeyong smiles back, can't help himself, something flying and fluttering in his stomach. "Yeah. Thank you."

Johnny groans. "Oh my god, Mark, switch seats with me it's too early for this shit." He whines, shoving his hands against Mark's neck in front of him.

The sleeping boy jerks awake with a yelp, which wakes up Donghyuck who's leaning against him, which wakes up Dongyoung who's sleeping next to Donghyuck.

A sleepy Dongyoung is a cranky Dongyoung. "Ya," Dongyoung growls out, "it's too early for you to be making noise!"

Dongyoung's voice of course, wakes up the rest of 127, and soon enough Taeyong's too busy laughing at a Jungwoo and Yuta squabbling to mind his jackhammering heart, and easily blames the flush on his cheeks on how hard he's laughing.

-

"So hypothetically,"

"Hm."

"If I find somebody attractive, that doesn't mean I like them, right?"

Dongyoung sighs at him exasperatedly.

"Okay, maybe hypothetically I enjoy being around them a lot lately."

"Uh-huh."

"And maybe hypothetically my stomach does this somersault thing when I'm around him."

"Yeah,"

"And maybe hypothetically--"

"Yongie-hyung," Dongyoung cuts him off. "I'm gonna stop you right there. It's okay to be in love with Jaehyun, we ALL support you two, you know."

Taeyong flushes. "No, that's not-- what did you-- I wasn't talking about--"

"Listen, hyung, I know that--"

Jaehyun chooses that exact moment to walk past them, clad only in a sweat-soaked white shirt and sweatpants, they'd been doing new choreography straight after the festival for the better part of four hours now. And Taeyong can't help but get distracted by the symmetrical width of his shoulders, and the ratio of them to his waist. The muscled contour of his back stands out in that paper-thin shirt. Taeyong's eyes follows a bead of sweat trickling down from the nape of Jaehyun's neck disappear into his shirt. He wonders what Jaehyun's naked back would look like underneath him.

"Ya! Hyung!" Dongyoung shoves him, breaking him out of his reverie.

Taeyong blinks, returning his attention to Dongyoung. He smiles sheepishly. "You were saying?"

"You weren't listening to me because you were too busy staring at Jaehyun, weren't you?" Dongyoung throws his hands up.

Taeyong cringes. "No?"

Suddenly Dongyoung's furious face disappears, replaced by a pitying one. "Oh, hyung. You really just found out?"

Taeyong sighs and leans back against the wall behind him, closing his eyes. "What do I do, Dongyoung-ah?"

"I have no idea, hyung. Absolutely no idea."

-

"Seunghwan-hyung, why don't Jaehyun and I ever do vlogs together?"

"Oh, now that I think about it, you're right."

"So?"

"I'll ask with the producers, I think it's because you two are too quiet when together, though."

Taeyong doesn't have an answer to that.

-

"Jaehyunnie, they said we couldn't do vlogs together because we're too quiet together."

Jaehyun hums, kneading Taeyong's legs, which are draped over his lap. They're on the couch, watching TV with the lights darkened. Taeyong's sitting on the couch sideways, looking at the way the TV magically illuminates Jaehyun's face.

"I don't understand but we can't really do anything about it, can we?" Jaehyun asks.

"I guess not," Taeyong agrees. "Hey," he changes the subject instead, "how's Donghyuck doing lately?"

-

Monday brings with it a photoshoot for Jungwoo, Mark, and Dongyoung, and a NCT Daily shoot for Taeil-hyung, Johnny, and Jaehyun. Taeyong only has his hair appointment with Yuta and Winwin at two pm (they're going to color his hair a rainbow for this comeback, just watch them), so he stands by in the hallway as the six of them gets ready to go, meaning to send them away at the front door.

"Hyung, you're so cute, you know, you're like our mom," Jungwoo comments happily, lacing up his sneakers.

"Too bad we don't have a dad, huh," Johnny adds, he's crossing his arms and is the closest to the door.

"We have like, Jaehyun-hyung though." Asks Mark, who's pulling on his socks.

"Yah, does that mean Jaehyun is our dad?" Dongyoung replies, all ready to go.

Mark laughs. "Nah, more like our other mom. It's a two-mom situation, you know? _Love wins and all that_ ," he says the last part in English, slipping into his shoes. Johnny joins in and high-fives him.

Jaehyun, who's leaning on the wall, is tapping away from his phone doesn't even look up. " _I'd rather swim with sharks than be your mom, Mark,"_ he says in English, laughing as he does.

"Yah! What does that mean?" Mark yells.

"It means exactly what it means," Jaehyun says again. "Hyung," he touches Taeyong's arm, hand lingering. "You're gonna be alright? You want to come with us?"

Taeyong stares at Jaehyun's warm hand on his arm. He's aware of Taeil-hyung watching them closely so he tries his best not to react. "Yeah, I'll be fine, you guys have fun and be careful, okay? Send lots of pictures. Don't cause trouble."

"We can't guarantee that," Taeil-hyung responds. Johnny snorts at Taeil-hyung's comment, hand already at the doorknobs. Mark mock-salutes him. " _Will do, chief._ "

Before Johnny can even get a crack at the door, Jungwoo sidles up to him, grinning. "Can I get a hug before I go, hyung?"

Taeyong laughs. "Sure." He puts his arms around Jungwoo and they hug for a while, swaying him from side to side.

When he lets go he notices Mark looking at them rather longingly. He opens his arms and gestures to Mark. "Mark Lee, you want a hug too?"

"Uh I don't.." Mark hesitates.

So Taeyong reaches for him first, because even though Mark is their second youngest, he has a lot of pride, and he doesn't want to seem well, _young._ Obviously that means he needs a hug, absolutely, Taeyong decides right then and there. And just because it's Mark, Johnny joins in as well. Dongyoung laugh-screeches, demanding to join into the hug-pile too, dragging Taeil-hyung with him. Jungwoo drapes himself over Taeil-hyung just because he can. They giggle and sigh, it's warm and nice and reassuring. Mark squeaks from inside the pile because apparently somebody smacked his head.

Soon manager-hyung pokes his head inside, surely to scold them, but his face softens at the sight of these kids hugging it out.

"Come on now, or we're gonna be late," he reminds them gently.

They disentangle from the hug-pile one by one and head out after the manager.

Jaehyun, who has been standing on the sidelines goes up to him. He smiles, dimpling. "Can I get a hug too, hyung?"

Taeyong looks up at him, staring into warm, brown eyes. "Sure."

They put their arms around each other and Taeyong draws Jaehyun close. The younger bending down a little so he could nestle his face on Taeyong's neck. Taeyong closes his eyes and sighs contently, hands stroking Jaehyun's back up and down. He could feel Jaehyun's breath and hair tickling his neck. Jaehyun is warm and solid, he smells like sea-breeze, like he always does, and he feels.. right. Being this close with Jaehyun feels right.

They stay like that for 10 seconds before Jaehyun pulls away, slowly. His arms staying a beat too long around Taeyong's waist. His eyes glitters as he bids goodbye to Taeyong.

"Don't let them do your hair green again, hyung," Jaehyun smirks. "Bye!" he yells as he closes the door behind him.

Taeyong runs a hand through his hair, his body flashing hot and cold. He puts a palm on top of his chest. Exhaling. "I am so," he says to nobody in particular, "thoroughly screwed."

-

Tuesday comes and Taeyong freaks the fuck out.

He drags Dongyoung into his room to help him ~~gay panic~~ get dressed, and with him comes Yuta, too. Taeyong paces, unsure of what to wear, what to do, _how to act_.

"Oh God, what if it's awkward as hell,"

"Relax, Taeyong. It's going to be fine," Yuta reassures him. "You've both been together alone before, can't get awkward."

"No but _it's a date_ and oh God what if he _doesn't_ think it's a date." Taeyong pauses in front of the mirror and lets out a frustrated scream, clutching at his hair.

Dongyoung gets up from where he was lying down on Taeyong's bed to stand behind him and swat his hands away. "Jesus, just relax, even if it's not a date, it's fine. It's just you and him, you know what to do."

Yuta joins in too, standing behind him. "Yong, it's just Jaehyun. You've known him a while, you know him. He knows you, too," Yuta says, giving him a calming smile.

Taeyong meets their eyes through the mirror. They're right. It's just Jaehyun. In the same way that it's _not_ just Jaehyun. They can't go wrong.

For some reason that calms Taeyong down.

"Just do what feels right, yeah? You got it," Yuta finishes.

"Aw," Taeyong says. "I knew there was a reason God brought you guys to me. Now before we turn into an anime cliche, tell me, does this jeans make my butt look good?"

-

"Stay still!" Dongyoung yells at him, holding the eyeshadow brush right in front of his eyes.

"Is this really necessary?" Taeyong asks.

"Well, yeah you gotta be smoking hot on your first date." Yuta answers, smirking a little, fluffing Taeyong's hair up a bit.

Taeyong suppresses a sigh and leaves his fate to his two of his closest friends.

-

Taeyong ends up wearing a ripped, black skinny jeans, a graphic t-shirt, with an opened button-down over it. He wears a jacket over the button-down because he knows it's still cold out. He has a patterned scarf-thing hanging from one of his belt loops, and his hair's done and fixed with hairspray. Dongyoung lined his eyes and did his eyeshadow.

He feels strangely overdressed and underdressed at the same time, loitering around the ticket booth waiting for Jaehyun.

Ten minutes after the designated time, Jaehyun makes no sign of showing up. Taeyong starts to gets antsy. He checks his watch (eleven minutes past), pulls up his phone (no text), and leans again the wall, closing his eyes.

Perhaps Jaehyun had forgotten...?

"Hyung!" a familiar voice calls out to him. Taeyong startles, jerking upright, eyes drawn to the source of the voice.

Jaehyun is jogging towards him. Taeyong can't help the mix of relief and excitement that flows through him almost instantly.

Jaehyun stops in front of him to catch his breath, a light flush on his cheeks, and Taeyong will swear through heaven and hell that his heart doesn't skip a beat.

He obviously rushed here immediately after the photoshoot, he's still got glitter on his eyelids, hair still pushed back from his forehead, deliberately messed up. But he's dressed in a simple oversized soft-looking white t-shirt, the front of it tucked into a _really_ tight pair of black pants. He finishes the outfit with an oversized, flowy dark moss green sweater over it, and a couple threads of long, silver necklaces hanging from his neck.

Jaehyun looks beautiful in his simplicity. He looks... warm.

Taeyong smiles a little.

"Hey, you okay?" Taeyong asks, concerned. He presses a hand on Jaehyun's shoulder, which to his surprise, the latter covers it with his own.

"I'm good. I'm so sorry I'm late. The shoot ran later than it was supposed to be, and my phone died and the traffic here was just horrible I--," Jaehyun rambles on, gesturing widlly.

"Jaehyunnie, Jaehyun, it's okay, hey," Taeyong tries to intervene, sneaking his unheld hand up to the nape of Jaehyun's neck, he cards his fingers through the soft strands hair there.

It seems to do something because Jaehyun stops talking, his eyelids fluttering shut, mouth slightly opening. When Jaehyun blinks his eyes open again, he stares right into Taeyong's, and the flush from his cheeks lingers and spreads to his ears.

_God that's adorable._

They've somehow gravitated closer, and Jaehyun hasn't removed his hand from Taeyong's other hand. Jaehyun's eyes dart around, seeming to just realize their proximity and his blush spreads to his neck, he brings his unoccupied hand up to cover his mouth. "Um," he mumbles.

 _Wait, shit, fuck._ Taeyong's mind continously streams, following and cataloguing every single reaction he gets out of Jaehyun. He's never been attracted to anyone so badly before. He wants to kiss Jaehyun, maybe see how far down the blush goes.

Before he does something that he could regret (like getting arrested for public indecency), he steps back, removing the hand he had from the back of Jaehyun's head, but keeping the other one loosely intertwined with Jaehyun's other hand.

"C'mon, I already got us tickets, let's go in." Taeyong pulls Jaehyun to the direction of the entrance. Jaehyun follows him, nodding, a slightly dazed look on his face. Taeyong wants to laugh. The only time he'll ever follow like a baby chick.

-

They stroll through the exhibition, standing close, hands occasionally brushing against each other's. They see the infamous Portrait of a Beauty, and tries installations and observes exhibitions.

There's an exhibition called A Day of Counting the Stars, displaying an installation titled 'what you and i are made of', it's a pitch black room with seemingly no start and no end, with specks of what seems like embedded diamonds glittering in the ceiling and around them. It makes you feel as if you're standing in the middle of stars and it makes Taeyong feel...

"Small," Jaehyun whispers, "it makes you feel like nothing but a speck of dust," he finishes for him. "It's somehow liberating, isn't it? To know that you're nothing but a part of the stars, but also--"

"--it makes you feel big. Like you're a part of something big, a grand big story unfolding. And it's great, to know, that someday you'll return to something as beautiful as the stars, you'll become one with them," Taeyong continues.

Jaehyun smiles softly at him.

Taeyong's fingers itches to touch, his chest is heavy with this feeling, with Jaehyun. He wants to drown in Jaehyun forever, until their irons come back to the stars.

But that's for later. Right now he'll settle for Jaehyun smiling in the dark at him like he can see the star particles shining in Taeyong, standing close, not quite but almost touching.

-

They exit the exhibition 30 minutes before the museum closes and shuffles their way into the souvenir shop. They browse the shelves until Taeyong stumbles on a bucket hat with one of the Stars' exhibition works on it. It's neat, the painting is recreated onto a the hat. He tugs on Jaehyun's sleeve, redirecting the younger's attention from the collection of postcards.

"Do you think--" Taeyong starts.

"For Mark? Yeah, he'll love it." Jaehyun dimples.

Taeyong buys the bucket hat, and two postcards for Jaehyun, because he knows Jaehyun likes to make scrapbooks of the places he's been.

-

Jaehyun asks for them to go to a cafe afterwards, so they do, because Taeyong doesn't think he can ever say no to Jaehyun.

"Oh wait, gotta go to the bathroom," Taeyong quips. "Be right back," he turns to Jaehyun, who nods and goes to queue.

It takes Taeyong longer than expected to just pee, when he searches for Jaehyun in the room, the younger man had taken a table on the corner of the cafe. Taeyong promptly makes his way over, surprised when he finds two glasses on the table, and a piece of chocolate cake sitting prettily in the middle of the table.

"Hey," he says, pulling a chair back and sitting down. "What's this?"

Jaehyun looks up from his phone and grins. "Hyung likes chocolate cake, right? I thought you must've been hungry since you hadn't eaten anything since lunchtime, but I know you'd want to have dinner back with the others so I got you a chocolate cake," he explains, "hyung likes green tea latte too, right?" Jaehyun asks again, pushing one of the tall glasses towards Taeyong.

The feeling that goes through Taeyong hits him like a whiplash, and settles like comfort underneath his skin. "I.. you remember?"

Jaehyun just dimples again. "Of course, why wouldn't I?"

 _They're unimportant._ Taeyong wants to say. To be cared for and known, even for the simplest of things, by _Jaehyun_ of all people, makes Taeyong feel warm all over.

Taeyong tries to swallow around his heart that's somehow migrated to his throat. He picks up the fork and takes a chunk of it. It's good, and Jaehyun is right, Taeyong _is_ hungry.

"You know a lot about me, don't you, Jaehyunnie?"

Jaehyun cradles his chin on the palm of one hand, leaning forward, his other hand rests upturned on the table. "I do."

"Why is that?" Taeyong dares himself, staring intently at Jaehyun.

Jaehyun seems startled by the question. He turns away, not meeting Taeyong's eyes. "I don't know," he answers, his ears going red again.

Taeyong takes Jaehyun's free hand and intertwines his fingers with Jaehyun's. "'s okay," Taeyong tries and fails to shrug casually. "I like it."

 _I like you_. He doesn't say. "I'm happy that someone like you knows me," he says instead.

Jaehyun laughs, a little breathless, staring at their joined hands. "What does that even mean, hyung-a? What is someone like me, like?"

"Well," Taeyong puts his fork down, "for starters, you're gorgeous." He motions with his hand.

Jaehyun snickers.

"You're kind," Taeyong continues, grinning. "Considerate," he rubs circles on the back of Jaehyun's hand. "Caring, sensitive--oh forgot to mention that you have a gorgeous, gorgeous voice," Tayeong keeps his eyes locked on Jaehyung's, whose ears increasingly get redder with each word. He leans forward, picks up Jaehyun's hand in both of his and turns it around. Admiring the lines and softness of it. "You're smart, calm, ambitious, hardworking, funny, you're also surprisingly good at games," Taeyong says. "But most importantly," Taeyong drops his voice to a low murmur, not breaking eye contact, "you selflessly bothered to know me, and you care about me in ways I could never think of, and that's what I like about you most." He finishes, placing a soft kiss on Jaehyun's knuckles. "Thank you, for caring."

Jaehyun's whole face is beet red, and he slowly retracts his hand from Taeyong's grasp, he covers his face with his hands and groans. "Hyung, that's not fair! You can't just say things like that! You win, okay, oh my god," he whines, dropping his arms and folding them, burying his face in them, shoulders hunching. "You win, I can't take it anymore."

Taeyong reaches out to play with Jaehyun's hair. "Jaehyun-ah," he says, softly. "I like you, you know that, right?"

Jaehyun's reply is muffled by his arms.

"Sorry?"

"I said I like you, too," he mumbles a little louder.

Taeyong laughs, his heart so full he feels like he could burst.

-

"Hyung, we're dating."

Their manager doesn't say anything for a while. Taeyong fidgets. "Okay, Taeyong. You know what this means, right?"

Taeyong nods. "No cameras, don't get caught?"

"And be careful," their manager sighs. "I'm glad you found each other, but you have other people's dreams to make come true, too. I want the best for you two. Alright?"

Taeyong nods again, and he's never been more grateful that Seunghwan-hyung is their manager.

-

"So we have the answer to your question," Taeyong starts.

It's been more or less 2 weeks since Donghyuck had asked them _the_ question. The group is stretching in the practice room. Donghyuck, Mark, and Johnny forming a circle on one corner with Taeyong while the rest of 127 are scattered around the room.

"Eh? Which one, hyung?" Mark asks.

"Not you baby," Taeyong sits down, stretching his legs out and reaching for them with his hands. "Hyuck's question, why me and Jaehyun doesn't do vlogs."

"And that would be..?" Hyuck asks, helping Mark with his stretches.

"We're dating."

"So?"

Taeyong frowns. "What do you mean 'so'?"

"We been knew, hyung. I still don't get why they won't let you do things together, if you're dating are you not allowed to be on camera together?"

Taeyong walks over and crouches in front of Donghyuck, frowns. "You knew? But we've only been dating for a week."

"Mwoya!" Donghyuck exclaims, his eyes bulging out. "You mean you guys have just been old and married all these times _without_ the sex _?_ "

Mark splutters. Johnny laughs so hard he's wheezing and Taeyong would be worried if he weren't preoccupied with other things.

"Ya!" Taeyong shouts, taken by surprise, he smacks the maknae's head on reflex. "WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE!"

-

That night, Taeyong makes Donghyuck switch with him because Donghyuck's a horrible maknae and Taeyong kind of misses Jaehyun.

"So," Taeyong starts, sitting on the edge of Jaehyun's bed, he's all geared up to sleep, just waiting for Jaehyun who's putting on skincare.

Jaehyun hums.

"We've been dating all these years and you never told me?"

And Jaehyun, because he's kind of a little shit, looks at him and dimples. "Sort of."

"Why didn't you say anything? Weren't you suffering?" Taeyong asks, drawing his knees up to his chest.

"No. I don't know," Jaehyun pauses, seeming to be collecting his thoughts. "I didn't think that you thought of our relationship the way that I did. I figured you took my actions in sincere, good faith. I didn't think anything of it, too, in the beginning. Then somebody pointed out how easy it was for us to be together. It's like we work _too_ well together, and then well, I chose not to say anything. I was scared, I guess," Jaehyun answers, stowing away his creams and turning off his desk lamp. The room goes dark, the only light source comes from billboards outside and the small, yellow nightlight in the corner of the room.

He gets to the bed, passing Taeyong and crawls under the comforter, not stopping until he'd lying down comfortably, a small content sigh escaping him. Taeyong turns to stare at his face, Jaehyun continues. "Besides, despite the way that we were, and for all the ways that we were _not_ , you never dated anybody, never even mentioned having a crush or an interest in anyone. So I figured, maybe, you know?"

"No, I don't know."

"I thought that maybe even if you yourself didn't know how you felt towards me, somewhere in the back of your mind, your conscience, or your heart maybe, _they_ knew that you've chosen me." Jaehyun sits up, then, leans forwards on his hands so his face is mere centimeters away from Taeyong's.

"Of course that was all a hunch. I was so afraid of breaking whatever we were, because you spooked so easily. I almost couldn't believe it when you asked me out. I panicked and whined to Johnny-hyung about it." He smiles. He searches for Taeyong's hand in the dark, and Taeyong lets Jaehyun tangle their fingers together.

Jaehyun murmurs. "Still, now, I'm kind of afraid you'd change your mind. And then what would I do?"

Taeyong looks at Jaehyun's lips and surges forward. He kisses Jaehyun, then, overwhelmed by the sudden onslaught of emotions that brewed in him. It was a chaste press of the lips, nothing more. Jaehyun lips are soft against his chapped ones, and he tastes mildly of mint. Taeyong presses their foreheads together after they break apart, closing his eyes.

"I don't think I can change my mind if I wanted to," Taeyong says. "Dont worry, I'm not going anywhere." He puts his arms around Jaehyun and pushes him down, lying next to him. Taeyong puts his hand over Jaehyun's heart, and presses himself as close as humanly possible to Jaehyun. The younger man rearranges the blanket to surround them. And Taeyong falls asleep to warmth and brown eyes carefully watching him.

That night, Taeyong dreams of the sea.

**Author's Note:**

> please please tell me if you liked it or not, also feel free to point out mistakes that i might have made. follow me on twitter! i'm catchingjaehyun
> 
> don't forget to stan nct for clear skin!


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